Saturday, January 1, 2011

Funny jokes SMS jokes

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there are 8 men raping one lady. the lady was laughing while raping. afer raped the lady....they asked
"why u r laughing??????"she replied that she has AIDS
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A pair of loving couple went to a hotel one night..

After finishing their ''business'', suddenly the guy saw a photo in his gf's wallet.

''Is that ur ex my dear? tell me pls coz i don't mind about ur past.''

''Really? Good..that was me before the surgery!''
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Teacher:what is "blu*e film"??

Student : it is family movie,which the whole family watches,but

,"AT a DIFFERENT TIMES".......
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A man into work says:
Boss I cant come to work today, I'm sick.

Boss asks:
How sick are u?

The man replies:
I am f**king my sister, how sick is that?
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Teacherraw A Diagram Of Bacteria
kid :Here It Is Sir
Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything
kid :Sir,Can u See Bacteria Withot Microscop.
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Wife: Lets go out n have some fun tonight

Husband: Okay, but if u get home before i do, leave the hallway light on....
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An journalist to mallika sherawat: What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up?
Mallika: I go back to my home!
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2 children were sitting outside a clinic.One of them was crying very loudly.
B : Y are u crying?
A : I came here for a blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, the second one started crying profusely.
A : Y are u crying now?
B : I came for a urine test!
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Lady sitting on a park bench.
Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?
lady angrily:How dare U ?
Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?
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A man was traveling in train with 13 children...
a lady asked these all are ur children ???
He replied No Madam!! Actually im the owner of condom factory and these are customers complaints...
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Once Vidya Balan was going to London on a plane and Shahrukh Khan wanted to steal her window seat. So he whispers her telling all seats going to London are in the middle row. Thanking Shahrukh, instantly she vacates her window seat.
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Maths teacher if you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to aruna, 3 to anitha and 4 to kavita then what will you get?
Student: 3 new girlfriends.
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WHY AMERICAN NAMES ARE LIKE

JACKSON

WILSON

MARKSON

ROBINSON

KENSON

ANDERSON

DAVIDSON

JEMSON

JOHNSON.......

SO THAT THEIR MOM CAN REMEMBER

WHO IS WHOSE SON
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Sir:Which Comes First Sun or Moon?
Sardar:Yes! Moon..
Sir:How??..
Sardar:Only after Honey'MOON', 'SON' will be Born!
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Astudent was asked to meke a sign board for traffic rules near a college campus.
He wrote: Drive carefully.
Don't kill the students.
Just wait for the teachers..
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Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Best IT mail Forward of the YEAR.... 3 Idiots Hindi version

The Best IT mail Forward of the YEAR....


Swarg ke dwar pe 3 log khade the.

God: Sirf 1 hi andar ja sakta hai....

 

1st: Main Brahmin hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hakh hai....

 

2nd: Main Doctor hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg pe mera hakh hai....

 

3rd: Maine IT MEIN JOB KIYA HAI aur....... ......

 

God: aage kuch mat bol.... Rulaayega kya pagle..? Andar aa ja.........Tere forwarded mails, follow-ups, bench pe 2 years, night shifts, PM se panga, CTC se jyaada deductions, pick-up drop ka lafda , Ladki na milne ki frustrations, client meetings, delivery dates, week-ends mein kaam etc etc!!!!.
mere ko senti kar diya yaar..aja jaldi andar aaja…...

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Saturday, December 4, 2010

Funny One liners

1. SSC + HSC + BCOM + MBA = UNEMPLYOMENT

2. An Idea + An Idiot = A Dot com.

4. Sushmita Sen - 1.2 feet = Salman Khan.

5. Special Effects in Shampoo ads = Special effects in Jurassic park.

6. 4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand + Canada = a 4 
minute song in Hindi movie.

7. Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + 
own production company = Kajol

8. Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favourite serials.

9. Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR.

10. Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan - Talent = Abhishek Bachchan

11. Any actor + Any actress + many movies = David Dhawan

12. 1 smile + 32 teeth = Govinda

13. 1 person - shirt = Salman Khan

14. 1 person + straight hair + un-straight walk = Sanjay Dutt

15. 1 hand + 10 kg weight = Sunny Deol

16. One engagement + Two weddings + Three wedding songs + Four 
hundred Relatives + A house bigger than Buckingham Palace =

One sooraj Barjataya Film

**********

& the winner is .........

One S/W engineer + No work = Many forwards...........!!!!


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